Avigayil Damm

In Denmark, as in many western cultured countries, it is quite normal for a woman to adopt the husband’s family name. In Indonesia, this is not the case, mainly because Indonesians rarely have any family name at all to give to their wives. But it so happens that my father inherited my grandfather’s family name, which was actually some sort of a title of honour given to people who have worked for the government during a specific period in the past.

I am quite happy with the name, not only because it’s a title of honour but also because it’s a very unique name which is difficult to spell (especially for foreigners that I work with) which for some strange reason brings a certain funny (and happy) tingle in my stomach. Don’t ask me why, all you need to know is that I am a very unique person (stopping short of saying ‘weirdo’).

Getting my last name acknowledged by the Indonesian government and system was already challenging enough. In 2005, I finally managed to convince the local government to add my last name in my Indonesian ID card (Kartu Tanda Penduduk/KTP) which then helped me change everything else: my frequent flyer card, my credit card, my passport, and my driver’s license.

Then, in 2008, I got married to a Dane. Needless to say, when we wanted to register our intended marriage to the Danish kommune (the municipality), they asked what name I was going to go by once married. Being the typical old-fashioned guy (sorry babe, love you anyway! :*) my hubby insisted that I take his name. And so I did. At least on papers, in Denmark. It’s a totally different story here, as the process of changing a name is not as easy as 1-2-3, proven by the almost long-life struggle to get my own family name registered! But anyway, such is life. I guess I shall try to start the process and see how it goes.